My Culinary Adventure

Enough with the James Cameron love fest. Time for a real post.

I don’t write about food that often (I think my last one was on Smoke’s Poutinerie) because I know next to nothing about food. You can spend hours on the sauce and the presentation, but a guy like me will just devour it in 5 minutes without thinking twice. My only real comment after will be “damn, that was some good ass food!” and not “is there a hint of oregano in this?”

Anyway, because of this, my parents don’t really trust my cooking so when I’m left in charge of my sister there’s usually some pre-made food that they leave for me to heat up. My grandma once asked my sister what I cooked for her at home and she told my grandma that I only know how to make bacon, eggs, and instant noodles. Not true! I can make toast too, which means most of my food is in sandwich form. Today my job was to make some rice (easy) and heat up some spare ribs in the steamer (not so easy). The way the steamer is designed is kinda silly. The food sits pretty deep in the steamer and because the aluminum bowl the food is sitting in sits so deep in the steamer I have to reach in to get it out (being careful not to touch the sides).

It's like playing Operation where touching the sides gets you scalding burns instead.

I get that going. Then I chop up some bacon because, who the hell wants regular steamed rice? It’s all about fried rice! Not like my fried rice is anything special it’s just regular fried rice with some bacon in it since that’s the only thing I really know how to cook. Alright, bacon’s in the pan, time for some rice to fry up!

Mother...fucker!

Man, I’m a scrub. This is why I don’t cook; I tend to forget things like have rice for fried rice. Now I have to figure out what to do with chopped up bacon frying in my pan with no fried rice to accompany it. I felt like I was a part of Iron Chef, and the ingredient of the day was bacon. Only instead of being a culinary master I’m a scrub bachelor with no cooking skills. So looking at my options I grabbed the two other things I knew how to cook and decided to make something ridiculous out of it. Out came the bread. Out came the eggs. Let’s do some cooking bitches.

As a tangent, the other day I made an Egg in the Basket. It was actually pretty good, but a bit bland tasting. I like how the yolk just bleeds out into the bread:

Yummmmmmy

So I asked myself: hmmm, Redford, how would this taste if you fried this up in bacon fat? So I took out the bread and since there were only 3 slices left I was like fuck it, I’ll make three. So three slices of bread, buttered and with an egg frying in the middle. I was still at a loss at what to do with the bacon, but when I was serving it up for myself I made it into some kinda sandwich by placing it in between the two egg-in-the-baskets. The third piece I left to the side to eat alone.

Everything on this plate was fried in bacon fat.

And just because the last one I made was a bit bland…

Some hot sauce!

I wish I had taken more photos of the cooking process but something this stupid isn’t planned. The sandwich, in case you’re wondering, was pretty awesome, but I’m sure it set me back a few years. It’s got to be the first time I’ve eaten bacon flavoured bread and although it sounds really nice, I’m sure my heart can do without it.