LOST Clusterfuck

Spoiler Alert: Have you tried reading something that’s actually spoiler free? Boring eh? Well, then, be forewarned that there are spoilers here.

It was a good episode, I can’t complain about this one. Except a few things here and there but then that’s because I’m a hater. I wish I did a running diary of some sort but this is the best I could come up with from memory. It’s not in chronological order by the way.

1.) The bomb reminds me of the Cosmic Key from Masters of the Universe. Feel free to check out the trailer, as it is the greatest trailer ever made.

2.) Rose and Bernard? What? Well at least this is their goodbye, right? Right?! And where’s Claire? Bring back Claire!

3.) Juliet is sneaky hot. I’m not sure what to make of this, but somewhere between her introduction and now, I somehow became attracted to her without realizing. If this was real life she could have fleeced me for all my money and I wouldn’t have noticed.

4.) If I directed the shootout (completely inspired by John Woo): The van would roll out in slow-motion, and it would be a perfect time to play some NWA, afterall, they are doing a drive-by. Jack would shoot someone, pick up an extra glock off the floor and start shooting people with two guns blazing, except, instead of walking and shooting, he’d slide down some rails and shoot three people with 20 bullets. Those in the van will take care of the people in the back, causing giant explosions and flames to shoot in the air as tankers explode. The subsequent explosion causes the Dharma people to fly 20 feet in the air or just perish in flames, all while doves fly in the background. This is also why I will probably never be allowed to direct films.

5.) WAAAAALT!!!!! —> JINNNNNNNN!!!!!! —–> JULLIEEETTTTT!!!!!!

Ugh, I’ll chalk this up to rust from the Writer’s Strike. Oh wait, that was last year’s excuse. Recession rust then, yes, that must be it.

6.) Saayid and Hurley have been pretty deprived this season. They had a few early spots but I miss those guys.

7.) Don’t you just want to cut off Horace’s hair everytime you see him? Worst hair ever. I don’t even think he was in this episode, it just pisses me off thinking about it.

8.) For a doctor Jack has no qualms with killing people. He needs a good assassin’s nickname, like The Shepherd or something.

More to come later, I’m off to work.