My New 4 Step Writing Process
1.) Get something down. Anything down.
2.) Edit.
3.) Lament about why I started so late.
4.) Finish up the piece of shit essay I started.
The G20 Summit
The G20 summit is coming and there's going to be protests everywhere. I've always wanted to protest something but have never felt strongly enough about anything to do it. It's one thing to have an opinion, but to have one strong enough to put on a sign? I'm not that crazy.
What I was thinking though, was that I could be a bandwagon protester. Just some guy that shows up and joins the cause so he can take part in something, even if he doesn't believe in it. I could go around and ask people what it's about then repeat what they say, but, louder, and more passionately. Then I'd start arguing with other people about what's going on and pretend to be an obnoxious know-it-all (yeah, pretend...), even though I just arrived and don't really know what's going on. I'd have a pre-made sign that I could bring with me, and since I'm lazy and not very artistic, it'd be the most generic sign ever that I could bring everywhere and use for everything. Maybe it'll say something like:
"I don't agree with what's going on here!"
Ultimately, what I want is to be able to get on Television and give the worst interview ever. This is inspired by the fake yoyo champion video that is absolutely genius. G20 Summit is coming up. Let's do this! I need a team of people!
XBOX Live
So I just signed up for XBOX Live and decided to give Modern Warfare 2 a spin on it. The procedure was a bit longer than I would have liked but that's only because it's my first time and I had to download a few updates for it to work. I also had to register a GamerTag which is a bit weird for me since I've outgrown online nicknames. I used to be known as StriderHien (embarassing), but have since switched over to Drofder, as the logical progression for usernames dictates that mature people just spell their name backwards. Failing that I look around the room and find two objects and put them together to form a name, but since my basement was barren I just put down "Red". It was short, it was mysterious, and...it was taken. Obviously. They gave me some alternatives to use and one of them was StarboardRed, which sounds incredibly stupid, but also gives me the opportunity to talk like a pirate. YARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Anyway, after 20 minutes of setting up I decided to play one round of Modern Warfare 2 to see if I still got it. My record was 4 - 21. I got knifed quite a bit, and most players these days just hide in the corner and shoot people like a bunch of sissy bitches. I'm too gangster for this game because I just run around in the open shooting at people, which generally doesn't work because I'll get shot in the back by the aforementioned cowards. Overall, it was fun and I look forward to getting better so I can buy a microphone and start talking shit to these people.
Another Letter
Dear Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof, and other members of the LOST brain trust,
Where's Walt?
- Redford.
Niagara Falls
My cousin's been in town for the last two weeks so we did the touristy thing and took him to Niagara Falls on one of the casino buses. I'm a terrible gambler and lost about $40 on the slots. My cousin was equally bad, but my grandma pulled in $150! I don't know how the hell she does it, but she's won something for the last 3 or 4 times that she's went.
Afterwards I did some walking around with my cousin and stumbled across this gift shop that also shot old time photos. You get to dress up in costumes and stand in front of a green screen and they'll make it look as if the photo was taken in the early 1900s. My cousin and I mulled over this for a good 5 minutes then decided that we wanted to do this, just for laughs. After flipping through several poses we settled on one that we thought would be absolutely perfect. It was one for couples, and he would wear the suit with the bowler hat and cane, and I would wear the dress with the parasol. We'd both try to look as serious as possible while taking it as well. In our minds this would have been the funniest photo that either of us have ever taken.
When the shopkeeper had time she asked us what photo we wanted to take and I pointed at the one with the couple. She kinda ignored me at first until I asked again: "I'd like to do this one, with the guy and the girl." She looked around first, then looked at us, then looked around some more, then said:
"No, you can't do that. That's for females only."
Red: "Really? I'm paying for it anyway."
"This photo is not for two males to take."
So we left. She was pretty pissed at us for even asking, which was the topic of discussion for a good 10 minutes after. We were wondering why she was taking this so seriously since it's a joke photo to begin with, but I guess she didn't like the idea of a cross-dressing dude posing for a photo. So unfortunately for my faithful blog readers, you don't get to see me in a dress while carrying a parasol.