Being Asian Pt. 2
While editing my work I decided to expand on my last paragraph.
[I'm Chinese but] I feel defective. It’s as if I was intended to be Chinese, but didn’t quite meet the industry standards. I’m not good enough, but it’s not my fault because I was raised speaking a language that wasn’t spoken by 2 billion people. Imagine if this was an alternate universe, where Hakka was the main Chinese language and Cantonese and Mandarin have been pushed to the periphery. Not much about me would change, only: I'd be watching TVB shows and movies from Hong Kong without the aid of English subtitles, and I'd be fearlessly conversing with everyone in Hakka. Ordering food at Chinese restaurants would no longer require a menu for me to point at, and God only knows how much more fun I’d have in Hong Kong now that I won’t get dirty looks for not being able to speak the language. Maybe I’d run into some Chinese folk and start speaking to them in Hakka, but they’d sheepishly answer me in English “sorry sir, I don’t speak Hakka” and then it’d be my turn to look at them weird, and say, “oh, but I thought you were Chinese!”
I actually get that quite often. "I thought you were Chinese." Well, what am I then if I'm not Chinese? Why do I have to satisfy your fucking criteria anyway? It's not just that but there seems to be varying degrees of Asianess out there too. You can't be too Chinese or else people will start calling you a fob. If you're not Chinese enough, you're white-washed. If you're somewhere in between then it's good, unless you're from Hong Kong and China and think everyone in Canada is inadequately Asian because they speak with an accent and are illiterate. Do we have a Western culture equivalent to this, or is this strictly an Asian thing? Do you ever hear people go:
Johnson: "Did you hear? Rob started parting his hair and wearing suspenders? The other day I saw him wear khakis and he tucked in his polo shirt. He tucked it in!"
Smith: "Yeah, I heard he's playing hockey in Muskoka over the weekend too."
Johnson: "Seriously, he's too white for us."
Rob: "Hey guys! Wanna head to the cottage with me?"
I doubt it, right? It's because they don't give a fuck about petty stuff like that, but the minute I watch a Chinese film or listen to Chinese music, it's all "why are you being such a fob for?" Who cares! Damn Asians.
Chack the Stairs
Who takes pictures of chairs? What a noob! Now he's going to be a loser and put it on his blog.
Robarts Library is undergoing some renovation. It's a pain in the ass because sometimes the books that I want are on the 3rd floor (the main stacks are on floors 9 - 12, and the elevator doesn't stop on the 3rd floor, to get there, you need to take another elevator). I guess the plus side is that this looks awfully cool and makes me wish that I was actually 10 inches tall so I can have a wicked game of hide and seek inside this labyrinth of chairs and desks.
The Double Rainbow Video
I first heard of the video when several celebrity twitter accounts listed it as the "funniest video ever." So I watched it and it...was a bit of a letdown. It's definitely awkward, but it wasn't my brand of humour. I couldn't tell if I was laughing with the person as he acts incredibly elated at the "double rainbow" or if I'm laughing at the person because it's just a friggin' rainbow. I'm probably grossly missing the point somewhere, but I just don't find it to be funny at all!
I did, however, find the auto-tune remix to be much more enjoyable than the original.
My New 4 Step Writing Process
1.) Get something down. Anything down.
2.) Edit.
3.) Lament about why I started so late.
4.) Finish up the piece of shit essay I started.
The G20 Summit
The G20 summit is coming and there's going to be protests everywhere. I've always wanted to protest something but have never felt strongly enough about anything to do it. It's one thing to have an opinion, but to have one strong enough to put on a sign? I'm not that crazy.
What I was thinking though, was that I could be a bandwagon protester. Just some guy that shows up and joins the cause so he can take part in something, even if he doesn't believe in it. I could go around and ask people what it's about then repeat what they say, but, louder, and more passionately. Then I'd start arguing with other people about what's going on and pretend to be an obnoxious know-it-all (yeah, pretend...), even though I just arrived and don't really know what's going on. I'd have a pre-made sign that I could bring with me, and since I'm lazy and not very artistic, it'd be the most generic sign ever that I could bring everywhere and use for everything. Maybe it'll say something like:
"I don't agree with what's going on here!"
Ultimately, what I want is to be able to get on Television and give the worst interview ever. This is inspired by the fake yoyo champion video that is absolutely genius. G20 Summit is coming up. Let's do this! I need a team of people!