A Small Trip

Forgive me for not updating this blog more often. I was speaking to Anthony about this and it seems that I lead a very boring life that isn’t really blogworthy. Well, it never was, but it takes an extraordinary effort on my part to make something about my life worth reading now. I’ve stopped watching movies for a bit and have instead moved onto watching TV shows and reading. I’m currently addicted to Breaking Bad, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I use one show to counter-balance the other because after watching a few episodes of Breaking Bad, you need something to lighten the mood.

I just spent the last two days at Niagara Falls and Buffalo. I went to Fallsview Casino with my mom while we were there. I don’t gamble at all. I suck at card games so the only thing I do when I play is go right on the slots. It seems really straight forward in the cartoons and the movies, you just match up 3 in a row and you win something. And when they say penny slots, you think each play is really a penny. Well! Sorta. That’s how I was playing for the first while, until I curiously pressed the 25 lines button, and then BAM, lines all over the fuckin’ screen. I couldn’t tell which were winning combinations or not, but I guess that’s the point, the machine arbitrarily gave (and took) money from me. I ended up with $40 (after putting $20 in the machines).

Afterward, we went to Buffalo. I haven’t really been to the states since I was 10. I’ve had stopovers at O’Hare (where the people who work there look really miserable), but apart from that it’s been a while. I had one goal while I was there: eat at Denny’s. Thankfully, they have them everywhere in the states, and yes, it is as good as I imagined it to be. I had Country Fried Steak and Eggs for breakfast, and then I finished my sister’s scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages after since the portions were too big for her. This proved to be the worst decision of the day as I spent the next 12 hours digesting all that food. We stopped off at the Wal-Mart and Target before heading home and while I tried to keep an open mind about America, it’s really hard to get those stereotypes out of your mind when the only 3 places you visit at Target, Wal-Mart, and Denny’s. I’ll definitely make an effort to visit as much of America as possible in the coming years.

Rambling

Note: I really enjoy prefacing my own posts with something. I was exhausted and just started writing and this is what came out. Sorry if it’s incoherent, but, I typed this while looking like a complete vegetable.

A lot of people like going to the beach but I don’t see the appeal. It’s not for me. My summers were mostly spent in libraries and baseball diamonds. I used to hide out in Goldhawk Park library reading books and going on the internet watching wrestling .gifs (because before youtube, .gifs were the shit). Libraries have got a hell of a lot cooler now, with their selection of DVDs, graphic novels, and a ton of great books but I stopped going years ago. I’m quite particular about my books and prefer to buy them so I can read them in the condition I want them to be in, rather than risk getting a copy from the library that might have been underlined or highlighted. Have you seen how people highlight or underline text in books? Back when I had to research for my essays (I just make up shit now) I’d open a book to see that almost everything was highlighted except “the.” Why not just colour the page you scrub?

I don’t get beaches. People tell me it’s fun playing volleyball, tanning, and all that other beach stuff. There’s probably frisbees involved, but I don’t know because I don’t think I’ve been to one since my trip to Cuba and that’s only because it was there and I had nowhere else to go. But unless people actually brought all that stuff, there’s nothing to do at the beach. I love how they call it tanning, because it sounds like an activity you do. You’re really just lying there. Stuff is happening to you, but you’re not doing anything.

When I wasn’t in the library or baseball diamonds I was riding my bike around. That was until my bike got stolen. It sucks because my bike was beside my friend’s bike but it was mine that got stolen. It was random but because it only happened to me I felt targeted.

Cold movie theatres and the smell of popcorn. Those were my summers. I remember we went to watch Rocky and Bullwinkle one summer, and someone bought jellybeans to eat. There were these annoying kids in the theatre running around so I took a jellybean and whipped it in their general direction. It was dark, and I didn’t think I was going to hit them (which is precisely why I threw it in their direction), but I heard an “ow!” I don’t know how they knew it was me but they went outside and dragged an usher to get us kicked out. He told them “he THREW A JELLYBEAN AT ME” and they looked at me with the box of jellybeans, and I denied it. “I don’t know what he’s talking about, how does he know it’s my jellybean.” I didn’t get kicked out, but I wouldn’t have missed out because Rocky and Bullwinkle was horrendous.

These were my summers. My summer this year has been crap. It’s just sitting at home watching movies, going out to play softball when I have to (it seems more of a duty now than anything), and going to work any other day. If my life is so boring now, I wonder what I’m going to reminisce about when I’m 60?

Marvel vs Capcom 3

I probably watch more MVC3 videos than actually play the game. I can say that I’m decent at the game and with some more practice can get pretty good at it. Adrian told me about a BBQ gathering that TOSF (the name of the Toronto Street Fighter scene) was having at Middlefield and Finch and told me to go so I could face the top players in the game and get better. When I arrived I saw maybe 2 familiar faces and the rest of them were 16 – 19 and new. I felt so old at that moment. Stephen, who I have played countless times growing up, was the host and I think I talked to him more that day than I have…ever. He’s normally quiet, but I guess since we’re both older now we have more to say to each other. A really nice guy.

He asked if I wanted to enter the tournament since “not a lot of people are joining” and I’m like yeah, sure, whatever. I suck, but I’ll play. It’s funny because I don’t think Stephen knows my real name because I get put down as “Strider.” I hear someone yell out “man, who the fuck is Strider?” And someone else replies “Strider is OG!” One of my friends from wayyyy back was like “I haven’t seen him in 10 years man.”

My first game was against Nick. I don’t know who Nick is, or how he plays. I didn’t think I was going to get seeded favourably since I haven’t played in so long so I assumed he was a top player. Before the match we have a button check to make sure everything’s ok. I’m playing on a couch, outside a storage unit, with a joystick on my lap, on what is probably (at best) a 20 inch screen. I keeps it real son. Match starts, I jump, get hit with Sentinel’s frying pan, match finishes.

From what I remember, Nick did something like this to me:

Jumping Fierce, launcher, 30 SECONDS OF ASS RAPING, Rocket Punch. It was the most relentless beatdown I have ever taken. Then match 2 begins, and I fare much, much better. It went like this:

I jump, Nick jumps and tries to frying pan me, I block (!!!), then he lands with sentinel, crouching medium, into A FUCKING RIDICULOUS COMBO WHERE HE DOUBLE-FISTS MY CHARACTERS, followed by a rocket punch. I hate this man with a passion right now, but I shook his hand after like a good sport. He was clearly, much, much, MUCH better than me. I asked my friend Anant who Nick was:

“I think he finished 2nd or 3rd in the last tournament.”
“I don’t feel so bad then for getting molested by his Sentinel.”

So, having been sent into the losers bracket, I imagine myself mounting a triumphant comeback against my opponents, and earning a bit of respect from everyone.

Nope.

The next guy I faced, Brett, was also pretty good and more or less beat the shit out of me. I mounted a comeback of sorts, but the joystick buttons were sticking for me. In all honesty, he would have won that match anyway, but I would have looked respectable.

Kidnapped (Part 1 of…1?)

Note: It’s a long post so I figured I’d split it into two parts.
Note 2: Perhaps splitting it into two posts wasn’t such a great idea. As it turns out, nothing really happened after.

Our first order of business was actually getting some steak for the BBQ. I love 24 hour grocery stores because it makes buying groceries fun. You don’t have to deal with lines, too many people, or those assholes who block the aisles with their carts. And old people, who are essentially talking pylons at the grocery store. We bought six steaks for $40+.

I don’t normally go out after work because I’m usually too tired to participate in anything after my shift. It’s not physically (or mentally) demanding, but after 8 hours of dealing with my customers you tend to lose faith in the world. You can’t couple that feeling with drinking, it’s a recipe for disaster (and apparently great works of art as well).

Sometimes, however, I make exceptions, but it’s usually because I cave in to peer pressure. I love my friends, just not after work. Yesterday, my friend walked up and asked if I wanted to grab “a few drinks” after work with the guys. I really didn’t want to go. I’ve been “out of sorts” (typical, vague bullshit saying that doesn’t mean anything because it could mean everything) so I really just wanted to go home and sleep. He kept asking and I just avoided the question a bunch of times before I finally answered it:

“Naw man, I’m pretty tired, I’m just gonna go home.”
“Red, why are you such a pussy?”
“Alright, fuck you, I’m going.”
“Thatta boy!”

Some brilliant use of psychology by my friend Derek. My main concern was that I didn’t want to go home late. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately so I thought it would have been a good day to catch up on some rest. In truth I probably would have stayed up late when I got home and missed out on some sleep anyway. But it would have been on my terms. I figured the latest we’d stay would be last call anyway, so I’ll be home around 3ish. It wasn’t that bad.

We finished at different times, so Derek was the first to leave for the bar, then I followed, and we were later joined by Dave and Rob. I’ve never met Dave before but I’ve heard stories about him. He’s the father of two students that I work with, and a huge joker. My friend met him at another district and one of the first things Dave said to him was:

“Hey, I heard you guys have this really useless blonde that works in the North. Her name is Kirstyn or something.”
“…isn’t that your daughter?”
“HAHAHAHA!”

My first encounter with Dave was also quite a funny one. Rob was chiming Dave through the intercom, so Dave called in and said “If you chime me ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to shove that bell up your ass!” He didn’t realize it was me that picked up the phone, but I cracked up pretty hard anyway and said “Hold on Dave, let me get Rob on the line.” I heard some pretty loud laughing on the other end of the line as I was passing it over.

When I got to the bar, Derek was with his friend Ian and I was introduced to him. Pretty fuckin’ cool guy. While we were waiting for the others to show up we each grabbed a pint and got to talking about random shit. I realized that I was in way over my head drinking with these guys. They were seasoned veterans of the party scene, and it didn’t seem likely that we’d stop at last call. Rob and Dave arrived and the drinking picked up pretty quick when these guys sat down. We drank so much, and so fast, that I started to get the hiccups. Everyone else was fine but I was getting fucked up. Who the hell was I drinking with? It was like I got kidnapped by party animals and made to keep up with them. They soon dubbed me “hiccups” which was pretty original when I heard it, but doesn’t have the same ring to it now that I’m sober. Everyone started to give me tips for getting rid of them including holding my breath as long as I can, then taking three sips of a drink without hiccuping. They must be sips, and I must drink three of them. Dave’s suggestion was much simpler. He waved me over so he could teach me his solution for hiccups then punched me in the chest. Neither worked but we all had a good laugh watching me try.

Last call came and we tried ordering three more pitchers of beer. We were only allowed two. As I suspected we weren’t even close to being done after last call. Dave invited us all over to his house, and before I could decline and say that I wanted to go home:

“Red, you’re not gonna pussy out now, are you?”
“Whaaat are you talking ’bout? I’m in son!”
“Alright, we’re going to grab some steaks from Metro and have a BBQ man!”

It was 3am, and we were about to head back to Scarborough for a bbq. Yay?

Our first order of business was actually getting some steak for the BBQ. I love 24 hour grocery stores because it makes buying groceries fun. You don’t have to deal with lines, too many people, or those assholes who block the aisles with their carts. And old people, who are essentially talking pylons at the grocery store. We bought six steaks for $40+ and headed over. This is pretty much when the night winds down, and we start to chill. Dave’s got a pool in his backyard and a wicked awesome patio set, and some torches! I felt like picking one up and re-enacting some scenes from LOST with one. Not sure which one as I have spent the better half of the last 2 years erasing it from my brain.

Ian tries to teach me a drinking card game. It was pretty complex, but I think I got it in the end. I was probably too drunk to play it properly though, as he kept saying “Why would you do that?! You could have won.” I only replied with more hiccups. Dave did all the cooking and even went inside the house to prep some rice and vegetables for us to accompany our steaks. It was fuckin’ delicious.

I brought over some Monte Cristo cigars from Cuba and was telling everyone all night that we were going to smoke them. I don’t think anybody believed I was going to share it (costing a shitload in Canada and all), but I just wanted to smoke it with someone. There’s apparently a special way to smoke cigars where you just taste it in your mouth, without inhaling it. I tried it out but I don’t think i was doing it right so I started inhaling the cigar instead. Each breath I took felt like a sharp hit to my lungs. It was pretty fuckin’ good. Derek was dipping his feet in the pool while smoking and ended up passing out shortly after. Ian had to go home because he had work at 9am (I think it was 5am at this time), and we all decided to leave around this time too. Only, Derek was passed out and we thought it would be an awesome time to take photos of him instead.

And that was the end of my night. I got home at 6:30 and woke up at 11 half dead with my mouth tasting like an ashtray, and a slight hangover. A hell of a way to start my Thursday morning.

Montreal and Ottawa Trip

I went on a Tai Pan sight-seeing tour that took me to Ottawa, Montreal, and Quebec City. It was incredibly fast-paced and I wouldn’t recommend it to people who prefer to soak in their experiences. Most of the stuff you see, you see in passing. The times you get off the bus to get a closer look, they give you about 30 minutes (on average) to do what you want to do. There isn’t enough time to do anything in that span. A lot of people use that time to take photos, but I wonder what they’re going to say when they look back at those pictures later on? “I was here for 5 minutes. That’s it.”

Our days ended early, but since they began early as well, we couldn’t really go out on our own after. We could have, but it wouldn’t have been recommended since we had to get up at 6am again. The most free time we got on our trip was when we were in Quebec City. We had about 2 hours of free time to do what we wanted, and after 30 minutes or so of walking around and taking photos, my cousin and I went right to the bar to get our drink on. They are still very much in love with the Nordiques in Quebec.

We bought the lunch package with the tour which consisted of 3 different Chinese buffets. I hate buffets. I hate them because the food is not good, quantity is never better than quality, and Asian people just don’t give a fuck when it comes to lining up. Old ladies tried to push me out of the way for the har gow and siu mai. One of them kept prodding me and trying to push her way in front of me. I just made sure she didn’t get in front, then put all the siu mai on my plate (6 or 7 of them) JUST TO BE A DICK. I don’t even like siu mai, but spite makes everything taste delicious. This also was revenge for every time those Asian people cut in front of me when I was lining up for the bus. I hate you bitches, hope I ruined your day by eating all your fucking siu mai. (I should note for all my random readers I get, that I’m Chinese.)