In the earliest nightmare that I can remember, I was sitting at the edge of a fountain when I fell in. It became terrifying when I realized I couldn’t swim and was sinking deeper into the water, away from my parents who I could still see. I wonder what happens when you have dreams of drowning. Do you have trouble breathing in real life as well? I’ve dreamt of falling, and even felt my stomach lurch as I plummeted down in my dreams. Did my arms flail as much as I slept? I wonder if I screamed.
The abstract dreams were the weirdest I’ve had. I’ve definitely have strange dreams before, but the abstract ones felt as if I was experiencing life on a sub-atomic level. I saw a dot, then two, then they vibrated and things started looking like television static. It made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, but then I didn’t know what to make of it. The static had voices, millions of them, and they all talked at the same time. You can hear snippets, not enough to understand what’s going on, but enough to disorient you. The sound would crescendo with the level of chaos in my dreams until it got incredibly loud and busy where I was. Those were the worst, because I always woke up feeling overwhelmed.
Lately, I’ve done a lot of running in my dreams. The other day I dreamt that, in a confrontation with someone, I decided to fold them in half and dump them in the trash can. I just pressed back on his forehead, until the back of his head touched his heels, then I just stuffed him in the closest bin I could find. He fit remarkably well, but there were people watching. I asked them if they saw anything, *wink wink nudge nudge* and they all looked at me like I was some idiot and basically said “yeah, you just broke someone’s back and stuffed him in the trash.” Fuck those people, so I had to leave. Now that I think about it, it seems like that scene in Ichi the Killer when that police officer just suddenly gets all muscular and twists someone into a pretzel. I haven’t watched that movie in years.
Throughout the year I’ve been keeping track of the things I’ve read, watched, and the video games I’ve played (and finished). I’ve always claimed to watch a lot of movies and read a lot of books, but I want to see just how true that really is.
Guidelines: – I’m only counting movies. I don’t watch too many TV shows anyway, so no sense in included them in. This is a lie. I watched many TV shows in 2011, but never kept track.
- I won’t include movies that I’ve watched before, unless I’ve forgotten enough about the movie that it would seem new to me (basically movies I watched as a kid that I’m revisiting).
- I’ve actually tried to keep the list in chronological order. I’ll organize it by month, since it would be too much work to be exact.
Grand Totals
As of December 24th 2011, I have watched 115 new movies, read 15 books, and I have finished 11 different video games. My movie total should be a lot higher if you count all the movies I’ve rewatched. Books, would be higher as well if I actually finished the ones I started. More often than not I get bored and start another book. Same with video games, but there aren’t many stories in games that can hold me very long these days. In the end I don’t think I watch a lot of movies or read a lot of books. Maybe this year was a slow year for me. My movie total for December would be much higher, but I ended up re-watching a lot of movies this month. It’s my nostalgia month I guess.
Movies:
January
- Black Swan
- Salo
- Police Story 2
- Lost in Translation
- Four Lions
- Idiocracy
- Dark City
- Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan
- Inside
Month Total: 9
Running Total: 9
February
- Groundhog Day
- Easy A
- Children of Men
- The American
- Red
- Man of Vendetta
- Let Me In
- I Saw the Devil
April
- Your Highness
- Vertigo
- Hanna
- Kids in America
- Unstoppable
- Bloods and Crips: Made in America
- Rio
Month Total: 7
Running Total: 33
May
- The Parking Lot Movie
- Pleasantville
- Bad Boys (tempted to leave this off the list, but I haven’t watched it in 10 years).
- What Are Dreams?
- Catch Me If You Can
- Trigun: Badlands Rumble
- Men Suddenly in Black
- Tucker and Dale vs Evil
- 13
- Shaft (2000)
- The Illusionist (Director: Sylvain Chomet)
Month Total: 11
Running Total: 44
June
- The Fighter
- Kung Fu Panda 2
- Ramona and Beezus
- Whip It
- Primer
- Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
- The Iceman Tapes: Confessions of a Killer
- Animal Kingdom
- Paul
Month Total: 9
Running Total: 53
July
- Cedar Rapids
- Hall Pass
- True Legend
- Super 8
- Tangled
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon
- Rob Roy
- Rubber
- True Grit (2010)
- Be Kind, Rewind
- Kill the Irishman
- I Knew It Was You: Rediscovering John Cazale
- The Man from Nowhere
- Source Code
Month Total: 14
Running Total: 67
August
- Barney’s Version
- Inside Job
- The Two Escobars
- Unknown
- Super
- Bitch Slap
- Rise of the Planet of the Apes
- Last Night
Month Total: 8
Running Total: 75
September
- Kingpin
- X-Men: First Class
- Heckler
- Martyrs
- Drive
- Thor
- Burn After Reading
- Bridesmaids
- Bangkok K.O.
Month Total: 9
Year Total: 84
October
- What’s Your Number?
- Hackers
- Fast Five
- Horrible Bosses
- Attack the Block
- Sucker Punch
- The Cube
- Observe and Report
- Lion King
- How to Train Your Dragon
- Monsters
- Eastern Promises
- Not Another ‘Not Another’ Movie
- Hangover 2 (exactly the same as the first movie)
- The River Murders
- Captain America: The First Avenger
Month Total: 16
Running Total: 100
November
- Strangers on a Train
- Point Break
- Clueless
- City of Life and Death
- Brazil
- Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father
- Immortals
- Puss in Boots
- 30 Minutes or Less
- Dumb and Dumber
- Our Idiot Brother
- Layer Cake
Month Total: 12
Running Total: 112
December
- King of Chinatown
- Knuckle
- The Killing
- The Adventures of Tin Tin
Games:
January
- Mass Effect 1
- Mass Effect 2
- Black Ops
March
- Marvel vs Capcom 3
April
- Costume Quest
August
- Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes
September
- Gears of War 1
- Gears of War 2
October
- Gears of War 3 (I actually beat those 3 games in a week)
November
- Red Dead Redemption
- Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3
Books:
January
- I Heard You Paint Houses – Charles Brandt
March
- CSC Volume 1 (it’s sad that amongst all my great history textbooks, this was the only textbook I finished cover-to-cover).
April
- Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling – Bret Hart
May
- A Storm of Swords – George R. R. Martin
- Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
- CSC Volume 2
June
- Snuff – Chuck Palahniuk
July
- The Maltese Falcon – Dashiel Hammett
August
- A Feast for Crows – George R. R. Martin
September
- A Dance with Dragons – George R. R. Martin
- A History of Violence (Graphic Novel) – John Wagner (Art by Vince Locke)
- The Bronx Kill (Graphic Novel) – Peter Milligan (Art by James Romberger)
- Shortcomings (Graphic Novel) – Adrian Tomine
November
- The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao – Junot Diaz
- Vernon God Little – DBC Pierre
I’m gonna read all day tomorrow. So many books I gotta finish.
I’m going to do as many chin-ups as I can. Fuck yeah, rip that bar right off my door frame.
Better yet, I’m gonna go to the gym and pound out some sets.
Gotta start eating smaller meals too. More of them, and healthier.
Not going to sleep so late anymore. I’ll sleep 30 minutes earlier a day, until I get a normal sleep schedule.
Man, meditation seems pretty cool. Need to learn how to clear my mind.
My room’s pretty messy too, might as well clear that up as well. Mental and physical clutter gone.
Fuck, if only it wasn’t 3am, I’d do it all now.
It’s ok, tomorrow. I’ll start everything tomorrow.
Man, I’m so tired, why’d I sleep at 4am last night?
So hard trying to read, my eyes hurt. I’ll play some Black Ops instead.
Ok, I’ll go to the gym after lunch. Wow, this lunch is huge.
It’s 3 already? Ok, don’t want to deal with the after-school traffic.
I’m going to take a nap, I’ll go to the gym after.
What time is it now? Blah, gym is going to be packed, I’ll go tomorrow.
10pm already? Where’d my day go?
Alright, might as well clean my room.
Blah fuck it, I can find everything here anyway.
Alright, time to call it a day.
It’s ok, tomorrow. Got all day tomorrow.
I just got back from dim sum with my friends. We went to the bar for a few drinks. It was nice seeing everyone again, because I haven’t seen them since I stopped working at the parking lot. It’s been a while since I’ve actually posted here, so I’ll get you up to speed with what’s been going on.
Last Day of Work
I had several missed calls from work on a Monday in November. At first I thought someone called in sick and they wanted me to cover a shift. When they finally managed to reach me, my supervisor let out a long sigh on the phone before saying:
“Redford, do you have your student form signed?”
“Nope.”
“Are you going to get it signed?”
“I’m not, sorry.”
“I’m sorry to say, but we’ll have to terminate you by the end of the business day.”
“Fair enough, I knew it was coming.”
And that’s the end of that. Then two minutes later:
“Redford?”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“About your shift tonight…do you plan on coming in?”
“Do you need me to?”
“Yeah, we can’t find anyone to cover your shift.”
“hahahaah, alright man, I’ll see you later.”
They actually needed special clearance to get me to work that last shift, but I did it anyway. It was a quiet day. I didn’t do anything crazy during my last shift, and I kinda wish that I had quit with a little more style like this guy:
But I’ve worked too hard building that bridge to burn it down.
I had no idea this video existed until I looked for it. I love how I can type in almost anything into Google and get an answer. The other day I was watching Fellowship of the Ring again and couldn’t help but notice how Elijah Wood’s pained expressions looked absolutely perfect for a jizz in my pants remix. So I typed in “Lord of the Rings, Jizz in my pants” and this video showed up:
Isn’t the internet amazing? Think about that for a second. I just typed in “Lord of the Rings, Jizz in my Pants” and actually got some search results that were relevant.
Anyway, long tangent aside, I just got back from dim sum. We went to Perfect Chinese Restaurant at Midland/Sheppard, and it was really rowdy. We went in and shortly after, I saw a police car pull into the restaurant. The guy did not look happy to be there, but it didn’t seem like anything was going on that was too bad, just people having a loud, good time. I suspect the police were called to ensure that the rowdy crowds settled their bills properly.
I’ve been waiting for a good day to watch this film, but it never came. I don’t know when I’ll ever be in the mood to watch a movie on the Nanking Massacre, but if anything, why not the day before Remembrance Day? Ok I lied, I didn’t realize the significance of the day until much after I finished the movie, but we’ll pretend that I planned it out this way.
A friend of mine posted the trailer on her Facebook and urged people to watch this movie. She called it the Asian Schindler’s List. I try not to say things like that because of how wrong these comparisons tend to end up. It’s shot in black and white and took place during World War II, and that’s more or less where the similarities end. Where Schindler’s List focuses the story on the good that one man does amidst a horrific genocide, City of Life and Death is pretty much two hours of Chinese people getting slaughtered. It’s Schindlers List without Schindler. I don’t blame them for making it so bleak, this was probably one of the most systematic destruction of a city I remember reading about in history, they only really needed to salt the earth to make it more complete.
It’s a good movie but it’s not one that you will enjoy. I was constantly getting angry and upset at the stuff going on in the film, but it’s also not showing me anything I haven’t already read about. Back in high school, when Iris Chang’s The Rape of Nanking was huge, learning about this part of history really blew my mind. It was always the European side of war that we learned about, so when I read about the atrocities that the Japanese army inflicted on Nanking I wondered why more people didn’t know about this. She referred to it as the hidden (or secret, I forget) holocaust of World War II. She was right. If I had watched this movie before I read (or knew about) this event, it would have had a more profound impact on me. I guess because I was already familiar with what was going on, the things I saw in the movie didn’t shock me as much as was intended. The things I’ve read were actually much worse than what was depicted in the film, so I’m glad that I didn’t get to see some really depraved stuff.
I still think it’s really well done. The way it’s shot, how everything looks, and the guerilla warfare battle sequences were all excellent. I’m always impressed with modern directors who can shoot an action sequence without the camera feeling like it’s being wheeled on a cobblestone road. And they get extra cookies for not having soundtracks that overpower the movie. While it is a violent movie, it’s not gratuitous at all. People die in droves, get mowed down by machine gun fire, but there’s nothing “cool” about it. It just is.
I can’t throw out a recommendation for this movie. It’s a damn good movie, but I don’t think I enjoyed a single minute of it (you’re not really supposed to). If, however, the Nanking massacre still interests you then watch it, just don’t expect to take anything new out of it.