help me
my brain is sinking down into the bottom of my spine
it feels like there is a heavy weight on the top of my head
my heart is starting to race
when I move, there are several different tremors that go along with it
it feels as if there is a marathon going on in my mind
they are racing around and around
they are also sprinting on my eyeballs in a clockwise direction
something is sucking the moisture out of my mouth
there is a desert forming in my mouth
it is like the pyramids are forming in between my gums
and i heard kd has a yeaast infection.
My Culinary Adventure
Enough with the James Cameron love fest. Time for a real post.
I don't write about food that often (I think my last one was on Smoke's Poutinerie) because I know next to nothing about food. You can spend hours on the sauce and the presentation, but a guy like me will just devour it in 5 minutes without thinking twice. My only real comment after will be "damn, that was some good ass food!" and not "is there a hint of oregano in this?"
Anyway, because of this, my parents don't really trust my cooking so when I'm left in charge of my sister there's usually some pre-made food that they leave for me to heat up. My grandma once asked my sister what I cooked for her at home and she told my grandma that I only know how to make bacon, eggs, and instant noodles. Not true! I can make toast too, which means most of my food is in sandwich form. Today my job was to make some rice (easy) and heat up some spare ribs in the steamer (not so easy). The way the steamer is designed is kinda silly. The food sits pretty deep in the steamer and because the aluminum bowl the food is sitting in sits so deep in the steamer I have to reach in to get it out (being careful not to touch the sides).
It's like playing Operation where touching the sides gets you scalding burns instead.
I get that going. Then I chop up some bacon because, who the hell wants regular steamed rice? It's all about fried rice! Not like my fried rice is anything special it's just regular fried rice with some bacon in it since that's the only thing I really know how to cook. Alright, bacon's in the pan, time for some rice to fry up!
Mother...fucker!
Man, I'm a scrub. This is why I don't cook; I tend to forget things like have rice for fried rice. Now I have to figure out what to do with chopped up bacon frying in my pan with no fried rice to accompany it. I felt like I was a part of Iron Chef, and the ingredient of the day was bacon. Only instead of being a culinary master I'm a scrub bachelor with no cooking skills. So looking at my options I grabbed the two other things I knew how to cook and decided to make something ridiculous out of it. Out came the bread. Out came the eggs. Let's do some cooking bitches.
As a tangent, the other day I made an Egg in the Basket. It was actually pretty good, but a bit bland tasting. I like how the yolk just bleeds out into the bread:
Yummmmmmy
So I asked myself: hmmm, Redford, how would this taste if you fried this up in bacon fat? So I took out the bread and since there were only 3 slices left I was like fuck it, I'll make three. So three slices of bread, buttered and with an egg frying in the middle. I was still at a loss at what to do with the bacon, but when I was serving it up for myself I made it into some kinda sandwich by placing it in between the two egg-in-the-baskets. The third piece I left to the side to eat alone.
Everything on this plate was fried in bacon fat.
And just because the last one I made was a bit bland...
Some hot sauce!
I wish I had taken more photos of the cooking process but something this stupid isn't planned. The sandwich, in case you're wondering, was pretty awesome, but I'm sure it set me back a few years. It's got to be the first time I've eaten bacon flavoured bread and although it sounds really nice, I'm sure my heart can do without it.
Aliens
I love science fiction and I definitely love stories set in a dystopian future. With that being said, I've never been able to muster the courage to watch Alien or Aliens because it used to freak me out so much as a kid. Back when I lived at Alton Towers we had to take out our trash in a garbage chute, which required me to walk around the corner and into a room. One day, after watching bits of Alien I kept imagining the aliens crawling up the chute and ready to pounce on my face and come out from my belly. I never took out the trash again.
I also never watched any of the Alien series despite the first two being directed by Ridley Scott (!) and James Cameron (!!) respectively. So! Today I figured I'd go out and buy one of them and ended up with Aliens (the second one directed by James Cameron) because I need to overcome this fear. I just hope this finishes before the sun goes down.
Edit: This movie was friggin' awesome! Ripley duct tapes a machine gun/grenade launcher to a flame thrower. Damn! And Bill Paxton is the greatest. Time to watch the first one!
Avatar (Cont…)
I wrote about Avatar a while back and that I'd go back a little later on to polish up the post or add more to it but never did. Well, I'm sorry. Not only have I been busy (lies), but it's very difficult for me to give a shit these days (truth). I usually just sit in my chair wishing I was someone else. Then it hit me! The ability to actually be someone else is what makes Avatar so awesome.
Apparently there's been cases of Pandora withdrawal with people feeling depressed or suicidal after watching the movie because they were upset that the place didn't actually exist. They seemed to have neglected the quite minor detail that it is one of the most hostile places for humans...ever. In fact, the main character is there because his twin brother died on that planet. What's the rush to get to Pandora? The most attractive idea in that film is not the environment, but the ability to actually start over and be someone new.
There are days where I don't want to be me. I'll go through some rough patches and the worst thing about having to endure those times in your life is sleeping. Sleep is great! You rest, you close your eyes, and when you wake up you'll feel energized to take on the day. Except when depression hits. Sleeping doesn't have the same rejuvenating effect when you're depressed because when you wake up, your life still sucks and whatever's bothering you will continue chipping away at you. For me, I don't even get to dream when I'm feeling down. Dreams would be an escape, and that would interfere with my suffering (ha!). I don't care much for Pandora itself, although it looks like a very beautiful place to be, I just want to be able to sleep and wake up as someone else like how it works in the movie. To be able to abandon my life completely, even if it is only for a moment, so I can just get rid of all my responsibilities and start over somewhere would be an awesome thing to have. Hell, I'll settle for the ability to have lucid dreams. Unfortunately, in this world, you're stuck with who you are and if you're unhappy with it there's no avatar for you to become. Unless you play World of Warcraft.